It did happen so fast. Especially for us.
Dad was having his blood checked monthly to monitor for any abnormalities as he was getting older. On December 13th he had a check and all levels were within the normal range. He was going to the gym and walking all over town. He was healthy.
On January 7th he was complaining of some stomach pain. At first he just thought it was an upset stomach and took some tums. When it didn't get better over the weekend, they thought maybe they were dealing with something more serious.
Mom took him in for an exam and blood checks on January 13th. His blood work was slightly elevated, but really nothing the doctors or Mom and Dad were worried about.
Over the next week Dad started to sleep more and really started to slow down. The stomach pain continued throughout the week. On Sunday the 19th he was physically exhausted and weak, and so they went to the ER. Scans of his abdomen showed a fluid build up, but also some spots on his lungs.
They biopsied the lungs and also performed additional scans. The biopsy results indicated that it was lung cancer, and the additional scans showed that it was spreading fast in the lungs, spine and liver.
At this point the team of doctors were doing everything they could to find the primary cancer location. Unfortunately, his liver and kidneys were failing. Any cancer treatment needed a fully functioning liver to proceed, and he was not a candidate for a liver transplant because they could not put a healthy liver in a patient with cancer when there were other patients that had a chance of living with that liver.
So we were stuck. We could not treat the cancer because of the liver and could not treat the liver because of the cancer. All we could do was keep him comfortable. Luckily at this point things were moving fast and the doctors were willing to do what they could to keep him comfortable. He had no chance of getting better and mercifully he did not suffer long.
He passed very peacefully on Sunday February 9th, and we were all there in the room when he took his last breath at 3:33 pm. Right when that happened we looked out the window and it started snowing huge flakes. The flurries lasted for about one half an hour and covered everything in a fresh coat of white.
Since then we have been in a bit of a fog trying to wrap our heads around this. What we do know is that our Dad and Husband spent all of his waking hours making other peoples lives better, whether at work or at home. That is what truly made him happy. Anyone who had the chance to be around him knows that to be true. He had the uncanny ability to see things from all sides and truly understand how all parties were feeling. This is Empathy and it was his gift.
Even at the end we believe he knew how everyone was feeling and he did not want people to feel sad or heartbroken at his expense. He went quickly and no one had to see this giving man suffering. So please remember him as he was, laugh at something silly he did; picture his warm smile and take note of yourself smiling :-)
That is his greatest gift.
Thank you,
The Mercs
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I knew your Mike's dad as his father and as a customer and friend. Everyone knew Mike's parents were super cool and you could pretty much talk to them about everything. I would go to his office as a drug rep and he always had me stop in to say hello when I was there talking to Dr. Richards. He made time to talk and ask me about my family and we shared memories of Mike. He let me know how Mike's family was all the time and he was such a proud Grandfather. Always made sure I had coffee and always offered a snack. I also saw him as my therapist. As we navigate life it is important to have someone you could go to and help you solve your issues and reason things out. He was always my guy when it came to me needing someone to talk to and helped me through everything. We always talked about a book he had going that sat on his desk. We shared the same love for Chelsea Handler and of books in general. We talked of wine, food and of the awesome date nights he would plan for he and his wife. He will be truly missed. I am sooo sorry for your loss but know your dad was an awesome man! Jennifer Bradley
ReplyDeleteDr. Merc was a great man with a dedicated family and group of admirers. He will be sadly missed by his large circle in Pennsylvania and elsewhere. It is truly a positive to live a life so dedicated to caring for others both stranger and known. I salute you Dr. Merc. You made quite the impression, kudos. May you forever rest at peace, because you surely earned it. My heart goes out to the Dr.'s amazing family and I pray that they know what a true help his work has been to his community. Rest easy, good buddy.
ReplyDeleteMike, Jake, and Rosie (aka mom). I am sorry for your loss. Dr. Merc was a great man who was a big part of mine and all of our lives, especially those of us lucky enough to get to know him at the lake. From checking in on us while we were camping out on the lot :) teaching us how to sail, wow did we have fun back then, to Sunday morning omelets and many more good memories. He helped create and foster so many great memories and friendships that I hold dear. Thank you mom for being a major part of that also. Dr. Merc would truly give you the shirt off his back as he did the last time I saw him and I commented on him wearing a sunfish fleet 640 shirt. I made the comment that I wish I had one (since the last one I had was almost 30 years ago and would not fit me now), he went inside and came out with a shirt for me, he was wearing a different shirt. Dr. Merc was a great man.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the stories. They are great :)
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