It did happen so fast. Especially for us.
Dad was having his blood checked monthly to monitor for any abnormalities as he was getting older. On December 13th he had a check and all levels were within the normal range. He was going to the gym and walking all over town. He was healthy.
On January 7th he was complaining of some stomach pain. At first he just thought it was an upset stomach and took some tums. When it didn't get better over the weekend, they thought maybe they were dealing with something more serious.
Mom took him in for an exam and blood checks on January 13th. His blood work was slightly elevated, but really nothing the doctors or Mom and Dad were worried about.
Over the next week Dad started to sleep more and really started to slow down. The stomach pain continued throughout the week. On Sunday the 19th he was physically exhausted and weak, and so they went to the ER. Scans of his abdomen showed a fluid build up, but also some spots on his lungs.
They biopsied the lungs and also performed additional scans. The biopsy results indicated that it was lung cancer, and the additional scans showed that it was spreading fast in the lungs, spine and liver.
At this point the team of doctors were doing everything they could to find the primary cancer location. Unfortunately, his liver and kidneys were failing. Any cancer treatment needed a fully functioning liver to proceed, and he was not a candidate for a liver transplant because they could not put a healthy liver in a patient with cancer when there were other patients that had a chance of living with that liver.
So we were stuck. We could not treat the cancer because of the liver and could not treat the liver because of the cancer. All we could do was keep him comfortable. Luckily at this point things were moving fast and the doctors were willing to do what they could to keep him comfortable. He had no chance of getting better and mercifully he did not suffer long.
He passed very peacefully on Sunday February 9th, and we were all there in the room when he took his last breath at 3:33 pm. Right when that happened we looked out the window and it started snowing huge flakes. The flurries lasted for about one half an hour and covered everything in a fresh coat of white.
Since then we have been in a bit of a fog trying to wrap our heads around this. What we do know is that our Dad and Husband spent all of his waking hours making other peoples lives better, whether at work or at home. That is what truly made him happy. Anyone who had the chance to be around him knows that to be true. He had the uncanny ability to see things from all sides and truly understand how all parties were feeling. This is Empathy and it was his gift.
Even at the end we believe he knew how everyone was feeling and he did not want people to feel sad or heartbroken at his expense. He went quickly and no one had to see this giving man suffering. So please remember him as he was, laugh at something silly he did; picture his warm smile and take note of yourself smiling :-)
That is his greatest gift.
Thank you,
The Mercs
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